In most, if not all of the important decisions we make, we usually have or search for a guide. It is always wise to seek an inspiration or a model in order to increase the possibility of success. Knowing the example to follow makes our actions and lives meaningful and lived according to its true destiny.
Marriage is one of those important decisions in life. Marriage is the entry into a new way of life. Marriage involves the union of two distinct lives towards a goal. In the Catholic faith, it is geared towards God's Kingdom.
What is the purpose of the Sacrament of Matrimony? Who is its model? How can all Catholic marriages be lived by married couples? What determines its beginning, life, and end? Is it the union of Joseph and Mary? Joseph is considered the model of all husbands and fathers. Mary is the epitome of any wife or mother. Certainly, if you had made them your inspiration and model, you will not be far from the Kingdom. If you have your own parents as your models because of how successful they had been in their married life, it is very acceptable. If you say that your marriage had been inspired by a couple friend, it is very reasonable. But they or any other human marriages fall short of the true model of the Sacrament of Matrimony.
Let me describe to you the model husband and wife of the Sacrament of Matrimony. The husband gave everything to his wife. The husband sought nothing but the welfare of the wife. He gave the best gift to his wife. No, not riches, fame, or power. Not anything in this world. He gave her happiness, eternal happiness. In our faith, it means salvation. In fact love is defined as wishing the spiritual goodness of the other. In the end, the husband, for the sake of the wife, accepted death, an excruciating and scandalous death. He loved her even unto death.
The wife on the other hand owed her existence to the husband. She tried all her life to respond to the unconditional love of the husband. She was willing to make sacrifices for the husband. She had some weaknesses and failures but the husband was always willing to forgive and give her another chance. All because of his love and want to save his love one.
Their love had been considered the greatest love of all. They are Mr. Jesus Christ and Mrs. Catholic Church. All over the wedding rite is stressed the true purpose of the Sacrament of Matrimony. Jesus is the husband and the Church is the spouse. Just as Jesus loved the Church, husbands must love their wives. Just as the Church loved Jesus, spouses must love their husbands. It is in this context that the Sacrament of Marriage is forever. Jesus loved the Church eternally. The Church must also love Jesus eternally. Marriage is done and lived always in the context of faith. Yes, the couple will have a family of their own, but even their very family is not meant for worldly purpose and ends alone. The family has salvation as its ultimate purpose.
Is this possible? Very possible! In fact, it is the norm. It is what is expected to happen. It is something that should happen to all marriages. All other conditions are exceptions! Mothers may know best, but God knows everything! With regards to marriages, He is the supreme authority because He is its author. He promised His constant and effective presence to those who will remain in His love. Couples may also draw inspiration from the many successful marriages all over the world. I had already officiated one 65th wedding anniversary. So many goldens and silvers. Rodney and Zhar, I know that you also have some fears about married life because of the experiences of some couples. While it is true that there are a significant amount of failed marriages, Much much in number are those who are successful. Many times, only those who had broken marriages get the limelight and get to talk about the futility of marrying forever. You can look around you and you can verify that marriage maybe forever as God designed it to be.
In a moment you will be exchanging vows. You will declare your love for each other for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better for worse, till death do you part.m In sum, it means that starting today, nothing can separate you except death. Because of your love for each other, nothing cannot be solved, agreed, and transcended. Their love will see them through! In the same way, it was God's love for us that He endured us and obtained salvation for us in spite of our weakness. In the same way, we, God's people, His Church, should love Him fully for our salvation.
To end this reflection, let us hear again the Word of the Lord Jesus to those who will be faithful to Him; "If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in His love.I have told you this so that my joy maybe in you and your joy maybe complete." (Jn. 15:10-11)
(Homily given during the wedding of Rodney P. Dizon and Zharmagne G. Carbonell, August 16, 2008, San Antonio De Padua Parish, Forbes Park, Makati City.)
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