The Sacrament Of Matrimony Is Priceless!

In today's news in SAKSI (GMA 7 Evening News), it reported that more and more couples prefer civil marriage than "church marriage" or more appropriately called the Sacrament of Matrimony. The main reason given was financial. With civil marriage, the only fees being paid are about a thousand pesos. The presiding officer is not given any stipend. Mr. Steve Tamayo, a well known church wedding caterer, said that it will take about a hundred thousand to have a church wedding. It covers church fees, wedding gowns, the reception, etc. Bishop Broderick Pabillo, an Auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Manila, was interviewed, but I believe his explanations were edited. I am sure he was able to explain it well, but due to the constraints of television, he was just limited to his sadness about the way the sacrament was being perceived. In fact, I received a text message from him early in the evening advising me of the interview and even requested me to pass it to others. It is my intention in this blog to shed more light on the matter.

Based on the report and the interviews done by the reporter, the nature and necessity of the Sacrament of Matrimony seemed unclear to many. The sacrament is seen as not different save for the "blessings" of the church or of God. As to its essential meaning and purpose, either they are very much wanting or they are not at all aware. Before the eyes of faith, civil marriage is not recognized as deemed by God. In the eyes of God and faith, there is only one marriage and that is the "church marriage." Civil marriage only makes the union legal but not the sacramental or salvific union. The church marriage is more than just a union of two people but a witnessing to the love between Jesus and the People of God. As baptized persons, it is only apt that they be united in the sacrament. As children of God, it follows that they should live together according to the will of the God they believe in. Their marriage in church affords them of salvation. The statements of those interviewed, which maybe considered as predominantly the view of many nominal Catholics, expressed that they are already contented or just settled for civil marriage because church marriage, allegedly, is expensive. They thought that civil marriage already frees them from their moral and spiritual responsibility before God. Maybe they were able to save a lot, but at what cost? Further, granted for the sake of argument, that it is true that the sacrament, which we believe to be necessary for salvation, needs to be paid, are we not going to do everything to have it? Are we not willing to receive it at all cost?

Let it be clear that the sacrament is never for sale or needed to be paid. It is not being offered in exchange of something. All it requires is our faith. If it is for sale, by virtue  of its ultimate importance, it should cost us an unquantifiable amount! Megazillions of pesos will be too cheap for an act that will facilitate our salvation! Precisely, it is priceless! Priceless in the sense that nobody can buy it with all the riches in the world. And priceless because it is without a price. It is a gift from God!

Actually, the thousand pesos that couples spend in a civil wedding is much much expensive than the simplest of church weddings! What really makes a church wedding expensive are the non-essentials couples (not the church, take important note!) require or need. A church wedding can happen with only the following; Baptismal Certificate, Confirmation Certificate, Pre-Cana Seminar, the couple, the priest, a pair of witnesses, and holy water. Churches actually can accept even only voluntary donations from the couple. The "donations" are not payments (and therefore no demands may come from the couple and no commitments from the church). These donations will be spent as support to the maintenance of the church (electricity, water, cleaning materials, etc.) and salaries for its personnel. Even with nothing shelled out, a couple maybe given the sacrament. So what makes a church wedding expensive? Why is it expensive? Who makes it expensive?

If the couple wanted something more than the basic requirements mentioned in the previous paragraph like; reception, wedding gowns, flowers, red carpet, singers, air-condition, videos and still pictures, new and expensive rings, and other things, then it is really expensive. But take note, these are not required by the church. It is the couple who wanted them for themselves. The couple are the ones who are making their church wedding expensive. It is expensive because of their "ek-eks" or luxuries. The sacrament maybe celebrated, in fact best celebrated, without these luxuries. In fact they give the wrong impression that a luxury wedding will result to a beautiful marriage. Some couples have to admit it. Church weddings are good opportunities for them to have a"bongga" or grand wedding. Without making judgments, there maybe couples who do not really believe in a church marriage but still does it because the church and church rite are perfect for their purpose of maybe showing off their riches and popularity. 

In my previous and present parish, I never encouraged mass weddings. Mass weddings provide opportunity for couples to receive the sacrament free. But they come across as less dignified because they are usually only for the so called "poor".  It is as if the rich, who can "pay" the church, are the only ones who can marry on their own and mass weddings are for those who can not "pay".Although it was once made obligatory by the late Cardinal Sin, I told couples that they are entitled to choose their wedding dates and they deserve to be married alone, donations or no donations, "payments" or no "payments". Money is not an issue here. It is their faith in God and in the sacrament that is the matter. If indeed they are not capable of giving any contributions to the church, so be it. Money is not a requirement for the effectivity of the sacrament anyway. As a pastor, I am just very glad to minister to couples who want to be saved by availing of the sacrament. However, it is not appropriate if we will encounter a couple who would not give any donation to the church and yet will have their reception in a five star hotel, dressed in expensive gowns and tuxedos, adorn the church with so many flowers, and a videographer recording their wedding. In other words, they are willing to spend for some wedding luxuries but nothing for the support of the church which will be serve them! Besides, the "donations" (not payment) being given were to be used to sustain the utility and personnel maintenance of the church. The money being received is to ensure the basic services for the apostolate of the church.

Therefore, it is wrong to say that church marriages are expensive. What is true is that church marriages are necessary and are given for free. Rates are being given by different parishes in order to give the donors an idea of how much non-essential services may entail. But they are not required to give the suggested rates. If it is going to be expensive, it is because of the couple's preferences and not because the of the requirements of the church.

(Just to prove this, couples may go to any Catholic church and just be honest about their situation. The pastor should make every effort to help them receive the sacrament. If the pastor still insists on the "donations" even if the couple had already intimated their situation, the couple may go to the bishop and ask for his help. But I am sure, the pastor would be able to address the situation in his level.)