On this second Sunday of Easter we encounter another significant character in the life of Jesus and in the life of the Catholic Church, Thomas, one of His apostles, known for his doubting the Lord Jesus. In the Gospel scene in today's reading, he was not present the first time the Lord Jesus visited the apostles. When told about His visit, he did not believe the apostles and said that unless he puts his finger in the hole caused by the nails in the hands of Jesus and put his hand on the side of Jesus, he would not believe. To our surprise, (at least to my surprise), Jesus, on His next appearance to the apostles, this time Thomas present, allowed Thomas to do as he requested. Thomas then believed and uttered the most famous expression of faith, "My Lord and my God!".
To doubt is not immediately a sin. As human beings, we are not knowledgeable of everything. We have limitations. There are things in life and faith that we could not help but be tentative or doubtful of. If one doubts just for the sake of it and is not really interested in knowing and arriving at the truth, then it maybe sinful. Much more, if the doubt is just to create a issue about something which may lead to controversies and further confusion, then the doubt should rather be abandoned. But if the doubt arises from a sincere searching for the truth which includes openness and humility, then it is a very positive and a welcome doubt. Such kind of doubt would lead to being graced with revelations from God and deeper faith on the doubter! But it does not end there. A sincere searcher, after having been gifted with revelation, would still have doubts. Our relationship with God is a never ending deepening, knowing, loving and serving.
Do we have this kind of doubt with our God? Do we have this attitude towards God? A reliable survey was made about whether people believe in God. The response was an overwhelming ninety percent (90%)! There was not much question about people recognizing the presence of God. But the other relevant question got an alarming answer. As to whether those people who believe in God are willing to follow that God, the answer was positive for less than half of them. This, I believe is what is missing in our faith-life.A determination to follow the God we believe in. Why is it that we easily follow our parents, doctors, lawyers, and other experts we consult in life? By any standards, they are much much less than our God! So where is the fault? I believe it is in the real presence of God in our lives. The tendency is to regard God as somewhere out there. In many cases, God is really just an idea and not a "person" whom we can relate too really and truly as we relate with each other. There is a lack of if not a missing experience of God especially of the Risen Christ. We remember that the apostles, after the death of the Lord were frustrated, abandoned, and orphaned. One by one, they were going back to their original life. They thought that Jesus gave them too much expectation. But after their "experience" of the resurrected Jesus, things became different. In fact, everything became clear! Suddenly they were courageous, assertive, and bullish in their faith. Even death could not threaten or frighten them anymore. With Jesus risen they, they could not but go and share the experience. Were there still doubt in them? Definitely. But now, they have reasons to believe the resurrection, doubt included!
Our daily experiences tell us that the resurrection is possible. A beautiful, colorful, and full of life butterfly emerges from a corrupted cocoon. A seed has to "die" before it can be planted, grow, and bear fruit. Our person are not just bodies. We are not merely skins, organs, hairs and muscles. There is something in us other than our physical self. We have a soul. Our soul continues to exist even after we have died. Besides, life is so precious that it could not have a dead ending? As for you, what is your faith-experience of God? There must be. If until now you are in this faith because of your parents, then it is about time to stop and reflect on your own "whys". The answers to the your questions might lead you to a realization of your true self. If you find God, then all His promises will be a reality to you. If you don't, then at least you have freed yourself of the "burden" of the faith!
Just a last point. In the Gospel, Jesus gave special importance to those who had not seen and yet believed. He was actually referring to our generation. While it is true that having seen the Lord should make belief easier but not automatic, to believe in Him even if we have not seen Him as the apostles did, makes us more blessed! it means that we have the capacity to believe given our circumstances. And if we do, we are blessed!
Let us therefore aspire and be worthy of that blessing!
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